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Author Interviews

Author Lisa Hardwick’s Passage through Postpartum Depression

October 30, 2020 by Nancy LaFever Leave a Comment

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Lisa Hardwick has written a startlingly honest memoir about her experience with postpartum depression. I asked her to talk about her choice to share this with readers.

What drove you to write this very personal memoir about your experience with postpartum depression?

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was instructed to savor every moment with my new baby. They told me I would be tired, of course, but I would also fall madly in love with my child and taste a sweetness of life that I never could have imagined before. They told me I would love being a mom. I have a stack of baby shower cards to prove it.

Then, I actually had the baby. The labor was hard. The pain? Unbearable. I didn’t fall madly in love with my baby. Instead, I got sick. Really sick. Physically and mentally, my health was shattered. Twelve days after my daughter’s birth I was diagnosed with severe postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. Fear entered my life in a way I never could have imagined. I lost all hope, and I wanted out.

What is wrong with me?

Am I the only one who feels this way?

I was completely unprepared for the reality of postpartum depression. I had no idea what the symptoms would look like. I didn’t think I deserved to ask for help. I didn’t know if I would lose my baby if I admitted that I wanted to kill myself. I just knew I was drowning, and I sunk deeper into the darkness as each day passed. I also knew that if I felt alone in this suffering, other women must feel alone, too. If I was lost and confused during this time that I was promised would be joyful and rich, I knew I wasn’t the only one.

Often, new mothers with postpartum experience:

Overwhelming guilt
Endless crying
Rage
Insomnia
Inability to make decisions
Panic
Thoughts of suicide

Culturally, postpartum depression carries a stigma with it, and I hate it. I hate it because it causes women to fear judgment when they most need support. It causes new moms to be silent when they need to speak up.

Fine. I’ll speak up.

Let me tell you about my weaknesses as a mother, because maybe no one else has told you about theirs. Let me show you my imperfections, my shortcomings, and my reality so that you can know you’re not alone. Now, let me also tell you about healing and restoration. Let me show you the hope and help that is waiting for you at this very moment.

I’m brutally honest with my story, because lives are at stake. Women are hurting, and they need to be comforted. We don’t need social media posts. We don’t need to compare milestones and parenting tips. We need to be honest with each other. We are failing ourselves and our families because we are trying to do this alone.

No more. 

Now is the time we learn to be honest.

Filed Under: Author Interviews

About Nancy LaFever

I love interviewing my authors about their writing process and showcasing their unique talents. You’ll also find editing “secrets” and other tips on my blog.

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My work relationship with Nancy has been stellar. In 2020, when interviewing her to be my editor, I stressed that I needed someone who was not afraid to be brutally honest with me. I needed a demanding professorial type and that she’s been. But when she comes back to me, she brings great recommendations on how to improve … and she delivers them with a brilliant sense of humor! I am currently writing a piece that requires deep knowledge of the Civil Rights Era. As the editor, she has gone beyond what I’d consider the normal range of her editorial duties – she has researched facts, voice, capitalizations, etc. to make sure my writing is true–yet sensitive–to its time. I wholeheartedly recommend Nancy!

Lisa Weldon, author of Twenty Pieces: A walk through love, loss and midlife reinvention

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I’m a professional book editor specializing in developmental editing – helping you craft your story. But I also work in all editing levels, in addition to author coaching.

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